way beyond mere depression...

despite being heavily medicated i still find myself spending hours sitting on the back porch watching the birds, unable to do anything but shake gently in fear, lost in hopeless longing for an ineffable reason WHY.

i spent 3 hours looking for the book with this simple quote sundat night.  i may write it on the back of my hand.

"work fast to foil your inner critic"

how often do i fail to act from fear...and the fear is always nameless.   better to head it off at the pass!

neck deep in the art swamp

i've been trying to be the artist i've always been told i was.  so ATC's seemed an easy place to start.  yeah...right!  it is horribly frightening, altho i have no reason at all to be afraid.  fear just is.  it took my 3 weeks to get the first five done.  i spent most of the time sorting and organizing materials.  lots of labeled bins of potentially useful stuff. 

here's the work so far.

i had a dream that the 15th dalai lama offered the chinese a lotus and a sword.  i think it meant someday 'no more mister nice guy'.

this was the second atc.  i am fascinated by moas and megalithic art and structure.

Gaia, the earth mother.  while i have doubts about the true identity of paleolithic "goddess/venus" figures, the symbology of the earth mother is beyond doubt.

i do wonder if there is only a cultural difference between gaia sculpture and a real woman.
















number 4.  well i had the picture so i combined it with the song of the ice cream truck.

say no more.


with 5 i tried not to think and just let words define.  there is meaning, to me at least, in the elaborate back.

i have committed myself to 10 ATCs,  5 inchies, and 1 art doll (who's your DADA!) before i leave the house again...and avoiding overthinking as much as possible.